Oslo, Norway. The sprawling capitol city known for it’s skyscrapers, cheese, and having it’s name featured in every crossword puzzle, ever. But there’s one more thing. It’s where the prestigious Nobel Peace Prize is awarded.
Meanwhile, however, America herself has an equally enviable Cup of Christ : The Nobbel Peace Prize, which has just been awarded to our Plumpest Paragon of Presidential Pork, Donald Jerome Trump.
Based out of Burnt Spoon, Kentucky, the Nobbels have a long tradition of recognizing amazing and tremendous people. Previous winners include Colonel Sanders, Milli Vanilli, Ron Jeremy, and Fred Phelps. All upstanding citizens that Trump will find good company with. It is awarded only once every four years by Jethro Nobbel, the great grandson of Horton Nobbel, who built a fortune by pioneering the practice of using unpaid African Americans to harvest cotton. It is painstakingly molded out of over 300 beer cans and nearly 80 ounces of chewing tobacco.
Liberal elitists, however, are calling it a “laughable sham.” Professor something something with glasses and an office with a vegan candy bowl had this to say :
“What this is, is basically the dollar store version of the Nobel Prize. Ah hurm. The Nobbel family also tried to start up support for a movement to have words longer than six letters removed from the English language. Which is slightly ironic, since their current business deals with methamphetamine. Ah hurm.”
“In 2010, the Nobbels tried to give the prize to the ‘Deepwater Horizon.’ I believe they thought it was some sort of band. In, ah hurm, 2006, they awarded it to Paul McCartney for, and I quote : ‘Finally figuring out that filly only got one leg! Kick ‘er to the curb with yer both, Beatles guy!’ I mean….Paul McCartney’s not even American. He’s not eligable by their own ‘standards’. Ah hurm.”
And this idiot has tenure.
No matter what anyone thinks, this is an amazing honor. President Trump is truly deserving of. Wishes do come true, patriots!